This moved a little quick for me. I would like to have seen an introduction to Sabot, maybe one of their early missions walked through or something. Dwayne was a developed character, whereas we’re just kind of thrown into the Sabot relationship. Now, there may be more character development later, but this transition felt quick and forced to me.

yeah i agree with john

I do see where you’re coming from, but what I see as the point of the story is that she’s talking about the specific string of events that led her to be narrating this story. Her first few missions with Tasha were not directly part of that string, so to keep it tight they were backburnered. If I were writing it longer-form I might change that, but I’m comfortable restricting the focus to the narrow string of events that are the story’s primary focus.

I totally get what you mean. The shortened version of this really calls for quick bursts. My general complaint with it is that I felt like Dwayne had a full ficlet of introduction, then was dumped, and now we have the new character that barely got anything.
Now there could easily be more character development coming, and my critique premature, but that’s just how it felt to me as a reader to this point.