“DIE! DIE ! DIE!”

”...What?”

“Sorry, there was a spider.”

“Why’d you kill it?”

“Because it was a spider, and it was in MY territory.”

“Well, you didn’t have to kill it. Honestly, what did that spider ever do to you?”

“It invaded my territory.”

“Do you kill everything that invades your territory?”

“No, just the ones with 6 or more legs.”

“That’s discrimination based on species right there. You’re lucky the families of all those insects you kill don’t decide to sue you.”

“Well, now I just think you’ve had too much to drink.”

“I haven’t had any alcoholic beverages today, thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome.”

“What?”

“You said ‘thank you,’ so I said ‘you’re welcome.’”

“And you think I’ve had too much to drink. Anyway, next time you see a spider, just pick it up on a piece of paper and put it on a bush or something. Okay?”

“There’s a moth on your leg.”

“AUGH!! DIE ! DIE! DIE !”

”.....What did that moth ever do to you??”