The One Thing I Fear:
My mind whirls in confusion,
weighted down with stress,
saturated with over-processed thoughts.
Depression settles in,
but not like before.
This time its a blank buzzing,
numb but punctured by the one thing I fear:emotion.
I know eventually it will stop,
there is nothing left to feel for,
but somehow the lack thereof is a sentiment in itself.
And then, a product of the depression,
nausea curls in the bottom of my stomach,
and I fight back the need that my body screams for.
I wouldn’t be worth it,
the terrible guilt,
just to ease the ache in my stomach.
Tears roll down my face once more at the lack of emotion,
and I find that I’ve gone beyond the point of caring;
for myself, for others, for life,
and the cuts, so well-hidden, are there to prove it.
I’ve finally forced myself to the point of non-existence,
into a cold, lifeless corpse:
forgotten.