I really like the premise, but it looks like you had plenty of room left in terms of character length. I think it would benefit from more dialogue that develops the story further.

I may have overedited. I changed the whole story but eh.

Keep it going, Mask By The Moon! I agree with Eckhouse, it would be great developed into a longer series. I love the irony of a “friendly assassin.”

I read it both before and after the edit and it was great in both forms. Maybe the assassin can be the heir? Here’s to hoping for a series about a friendly assassin

Much cooler, in my opinion, now that you’ve added more. There are still plenty of questions that beg to be answered in sequel, but I feel like I have a better sense of each character now. Nicely done.