I really like this, particularly the neat little twist in the end, but if Wallace and Riley are such “friends,” as you call them here, why would Wallace refer to Riley as “sir”? I recommend putting in something like “old chum” (insert your no doubt much better example here), to fit in with the diction you’ve got going here. It’s a minor detail, because overall it’s really well written.

seqeul is up

I wasn’t expecting him to confess at the end. I guess he had nothing to hide. So was his friend there to warn him or set him up, or was it just happenstance that he was there right before the police barged in?

Kind of odd to have two people confess to the same murder. Though, you seem to relish in odd. I’ll keep reading.

just to clear up the ‘sir’ thing, my dad often greets his friends that way. i like giving my characters traits of my friends and family sometimes, so if one does something weird or quirky, it was probably inspired by reality.

OK, that makes sense, RainDance. Thanks for clarifying. And I like the icon, by the way. Twilight, I presume? ;-)

Thanks! I had just finished the book and I loved it so much I decided to make an icon for one of my favorite quotes from it.

That’s one of my favorite quotes, too. Have you read the other 2? If not, I highly recommend them!

Yes, I had to go out and buy the other 2 immediatly after I finished the first, which my friend bought me for my birthday. Dying for Breaking Dawn to come out now. I’m suffering from Edward withdrawal!