New series I’m starting with myself :)

I really enjoy the conversational tone of this. I’m not really a “love story” guy (though I admit to being a huge fan of romantic comedies, Sleepless in Seattle is one of my favorite movies), but this did pique my interest.
You’ve got a couple scattered spelling errors, but they don’t really detract from the story too much.

Thanks. I’ll look into the spelling :)

”..my summer defiantly didn’t come..”
spelled definitely=]
i always had trouble with that word too. i could neverrrr spell it right. then i’m like “uhduh, it’s just definite with the -ly end” and i felt story.
but before i write you a novel on my mistakes i’ll get back to this story=]
i really like this, it’s a really good beginning! i totally love love stories, so i’m going to keep up with this one!
=]

Actually, anyone can sequel this. Msg me

and i felt story.
wow.
i am messedd up today.
i still have chlorine in my head.
i meant to say i felt stoopid.
=]

haha its okay

OKAY , I’VE MADE MY MIND UP . I”M STARTING THIS SERIES ON MY OWN AND ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SEQUEL , JUST LEAVE A MSG BEFORE YOU DO :) Sry, I change my mind, alot alot. ENJOY !

Sorry, it’s just habit for me to look for that sort of stuff. Reminds me to do it to my own work.
Specifically, you wanted “but it’s not like I don’t like guys” in that third paragraph, and you used “defiantly” instead of “definitely” in the last paragraph.

That’s what I get for typing up a comment, then walking away from my desk for a few minutes before hitting submit. What’s the embarrassed emoticon?

Well, thanks for all your advice. I’m going to chanfe it now.

Nice start. I have a feeling that this series is going to be really good! You know I am going to sequel at some time.
LoA

The narration here is really, really good. Off to read the notorious sequel now! :)

I like how you set up your character as someone who’s looking for something deeper. And in the end where your narrator gets ahead of herself and goes back to the beginning is a nice narrative touch, as well.

Yea it is very creative

This is an awesome intro

I have come back to read the beginning!

I like the intro, and how it gives a brief insight into the character’s motives.

Good job!