Paul’s eyes were bloodshot and bruised black. Dried blood dotted his nose, which was swollen to twice its size. He sat in the middle of a hydrangea bush, his shirt half tucked in and looking definitely worse for the wear.

“Mpshe mphbroke mphmy mphnose!” He shouted unintelligibly, pointing at Becca.

Sassy looked at Becca in confusion. “Did you understand what this man-whore just said? I’m sorry, I’m not fluent in man-whore.”

Becca winced when she saw his condition. Paul looked back at her with doleful eyes. “Mphwhy mphdid mphyou mphpunch mphme?”

Seeing him in such a pathetic state, Becca felt nothing but pity and exhaustion. It had been a long, crazy night.

She sighed. “You shouldn’t be speaking, Paul, you should be icing down that nose. Come upstairs with me, I’ve got some ice in the freezer.”

Sassy sputtered with a mixture of rage and disbelief. “What are you doing, Becca? He’s the enemy!”

Karl saw his opening and grabbed it, “Yeah, you should be inviting me upstairs not this uncouth buffoon.”