I wrote the world’s greatest ficlet. No, this is not it.

Unfortunately, the world will never get to read it, because Bigfoot stole it. I swear. I don’t care whether or not you believe me. I know it’s true.

The world’s greatest ficlet had everything. Ninjas and Pirates intertwined in a comedic romance between a zany girl and her over ambitious boyfriend. It was a spectacular story with a spectacular car chase, all tied up in an iddy biddy ficlet package. But Bigfoot stole it.

The woods were dark and eerie as I took the shortcut behind wal-mart. A low guttural moaning and a clomping through the woods made me drop my bag and run. It was not until morning that I returned to retrieve my soda and the receipt that I had written the world’s greatest ficlet on. I found the empty bag, and a few feet away laid the empty soda bottle, but no ficlet. I know Bigfoot stole it. His footprints were everywhere, but the sheriff told me not to get my hopes up. Apparently that size 10 Nike shoe is pretty common.