This was not Sassy’s first cavity search.

“Hey, shouldn’t we be indoors? You’re not following protocol!”

Paul, who was beginning to turn a rather unhealthy shade of green, looked at Sassy with so much adoration she might as well have been an angel come down to earth.

The officer had the good manners to blush. “Humph, well, you see, miss, as this is an emergency -“

“Emergency? Oh please, we’re just two horny college kids making out in a bush. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen that before.”

Paul’s confidence fully restored now, he piped up, “Yeah, haven’t you heard of the constitution? We got rights, dude!”

That was his first mistake.

The officer lowered his glasses and peered down at Paul. “What’s your name, son? You look mighty familiar. I could swear I recognize you from somewhere.”

“Who, me? Nah, I’m just a law-abiding citizen.”

“I remember now! You were one of those kids I caught peddling knock-off male enhancement drugs last year!”

Paul then made his second and worst mistake. He began to run.