Dare a quote my faorite bartender “Doc” who once said bitch before i sucked i was a redneck.

This all kind of runs together. I’m not sure if you were trying for the stream-of-consciousness thing or not. I think it would have worked better as a first-person re-telling of events. Could have gotten in all the little quips, and made it an easier, more entertaining read. As it stands, you’ve got some good stuff, but it needs some tweaking.

Well damn. I need to hang around more places like this.
Very entertaining read.