Whoa. Chilling, and very well done.

Gritty and heavy. I really liked it.

-Also nice to see a fellow Oklahoman on here (I’m from Tulsa, myself).

Extremely well written and, as john said, chilling. I hope there will be more to this entry.

I love the film noir quality of his internal thoughts that are reminisant of the 50’s style detective novels. This is a great ficlet. I have an idea for a sequel, but I’m going to sleep on it tonight to see if you sequel it, and to see if the my idea makes it through the night.

Thanks All
@Krulltar – Please go ahead and SQL . My writing style must be of a sort that makes people want the next installment, but not want to write it themselves. I love to see other people’s spin on my stuff, so I encourage you to write your sequel. In fact, I won’t write a sequel out of protest until you do!

I love the film noir kind of storytelling here. Very dark setup and chilling as the child comes in at the end.

Oooo. I want to know more about “that night.”
Very, very good.

wow.. this story grabs your attention, and it
makes you wonder why hes got a gun to his head. The child’s voice really makes the ending come together.. its a breathtaking finale.. please by all means, proceed

I see you sequeled a prequel :)
anyway, I added my sequel. Hopefully it dovetails into your plans.

I could imagine this being a moving frame in a black and white comic. A gritty one, of course, with plenty of feeling and hardboiled coppiness. I like how you made him more vulnerable than what is the detective-story “status quo.”

This is just wickedly good!
One of these days i’ll try a film-noir style..
nice work.

Neat set-up. I love the use of detail here.

Bravo! Refreshingly well done.

Man, you know I’m a sucker for everything Film-Noir. I dig it, looking forward to more!