July 4, 2008,
It’s time of celebration, of independence, of justice and renewal… everything that was not given to me in my life. I’m starting to hear the explosions of the fireworks outside near the courtyard. The others get to see the light spectacle, see their vibrant colors, their amazing explosions, the pride they feel to be in this country. God I wish I could see it… to feel what their feeling right now. I want that more then anything, more then friends, more then freedom, more then my whole life… the pride I get from being in this country. But lady liberty has turned her back on me when I needed her most. Uncle Sam has knocked me out with one punch and left me to wonder why. I hate this country… I’m not a violent man… I have never fought anyone or ever raised my hand in anger and yet… I’m here nonetheless. I must leave you now, I can barely see the wonders outside from my barred window and it’s enough to obliterate the homicidal thoughts… just for the night… God… please help…