Do i really need to add: why my clothes, especially the crotch, smelled like vomit. Can you just fill it in?
A time machine that smelled like vomit wasn’t going to stop me.

Third time: Upon getting to Third base she got a monthly visitor.

Fourth time: Upon second base she choked on what turned out to be juicy fruit gum, ending in a heimlich maneuver and a broken rib.

I should have quit, but i didn’t, there was still the cops raiding the party, her mother showing up, and her failing a pregnancy test before i arrived(I know what your thinking once the cabin is full the ship can set sail, but again no.)

Maybe there is a greater power at work here. What if every time you got laid it was destined by the gods. Nice guys can’t stand against the will of gods. Maybe I needed to have watched more Happy days and less Family Matters through that early development stage. Here i am in a polo shirt acting like i wear a leather jacket. That freakin Darwin.