Uh-oh! Lady Luniver is not a lady! A bit star-struck, I imagine. And now ashamed, perhaps???

Nice twist there…As Jayne said “That’s why I never kiss ‘em on the mouth.”

One unspecific critique: I can’t put my finger on it, but something about the first paragraph felt cheesy to me. I read it 3 times and can’t figure out what it is, specifically, but something feels a bit cheesy.

This is great stuff, though…and a very different world than Bagman. Nice diversity in your writing.

Again very interesting. I do understand that you are going for a period feel but I do have to say a few parts of this one I had to read more than once to fully grasp

Elsha: Nah, I don&#8217;t think she&#8217;s much ashamed of what&#8217;s happened, heh.<br />Ben: Yeah, it is cheesy, but it’s supposed to be.
@Kev: The dialog can be really difficult to follow, but I’m emulating Malory’s style. It’s really challenging to write without the quotation marks!

I’m kind of laughing at Ben here. The first paragraph is cheesy? Did you not read beyond that? The whole damn thing is cheesy, but in a good way.
Reminds me of why I love Army of Darkness. It knows full well that it’s cheesy, and just runs with it, through the woods, naked, and screaming into a bullhorn. If you’re going for cheesy, you need to own it, and you, fine sir, have cheesy bought and paid for.

That’s one of the best comments I’ve gotten, John. Thanks for making me laugh here in the wee morning hours.