My only suggestion here is to end the last sentence with Tom said. It’s a little jarring to end your Ficlet mid-sentence. Sort Sopranos-ish…

Yeah, not really in the spirit of a ficlet. The whole short story is here:
http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=211797

I use ficlets for writing practice – it’s great for that & feedback (all feedback) is helpful. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Wow, so he was a soldier. They must of really cared about him. This is very very good!
LoA

Very sweet, bordering on ironic maybe. I’m probably using it wrong. Solidly, carefully written.

solid writing (i’m such a copier) I would call it safe, not taking it over the edge and not making it t odull either.