Betrayal / Overdose Delusion

Three years passed since he died and not one day go by did I not think of Tim. Not one day went by did I not shed tears for him whenever I visit our special place. Half of me missed him so much, and loved him. Half of me hated him for leaving me all alone in the world with only loneliness. I remember I used to go to the cliff and lashed out at “him” for leaving me all alone, then I would cry afterwards and whispered apologies over and over again. I couldn’t stay to watch the fire sunset anymore – it was too much for me.

I only came in the dead of the night since then. There were places that I just couldn’t visit anymore…like down at the river, or the local library, or the post office. Perhaps it brought up too many painful memories. We spent a lot of time together at a lot of places and I don’t exactly remember where sometimes that something happened. The doctors got me drugged up on some pills that would make me feel “less sad” and “more able to cope with my loss.”

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