the cursing didn’t really add anything to this story. and i noticed that a lot of the sentences began with either “He” or “Tony”, so i would try and rephrase some sentences. i can’t really say anything more because i couldn’t follow the storyline, either. with a little fixing up this could be a whole lot better.
=]

it was an argument , that led to a fight, that led to a shooting, real mafioso shit

and the cursing, is just the character, that’s who he is