Carl hadn’t wanted this. He’d believed in an afterlife. He’d believed there’d be clouds. Harps. Wings. An open buffet. He did not expect a Fun Party Game For Two Or More Players. Certainly he didn’t expect that to be all there was to life after death.

He was mostly infuriated by the fact that the only other person in this afterlife was Bernard. He’d have understood if they’d died together, or if they were friends reunited in the afterlife. But Carl had died of testicular cancer, and he’d learnt through conversation that Bernard had accidentally killed himself by sticking a wet fork in a plug socket, because he “wanted to know what would happen.” There was no connection between the two, other than the fact that they were both very much dead.

They’d been sat in silence for what had felt like an eternity, when all of a sudden a curious thing happened. An object slowly phased into existence in the center of the Twister board. Carl saw… and groaned. Bernard smiled.

“Battleship!” he said, gleefully.