Dear One Side of My Mind:
A few minutes ago I cut myself again, just to watch it bleed. I carved the words “screw up” in my arm, to remind me of what I amount to in the eyes of the world. I’ve got no one to care for anymore, and no one that cares for me.Not that I even intend to let anyone see it. It would just be a perfect excuse for them to get me out of the house, out of their lives.
Its starting to sting now. Damn, those scissors are getting dull. They hardly even break the skin anymore. But I can’t start taking other ones, because I doubt it would go unnoticed. And knives are definitely out. Not enough control.
I was reading an ad earlier today while I was online talking to some of my pro-ana friends. It makes me laugh to see people who try and help others like me. Who is gonna own up to it anyway?
Damn, the suspicious hell-makers are home. I gotta clean this up before they come inside. I’ll be back later to reflect on some more of my crazy antics.
Until then,
The Other Side of My Mind