So, I was eating Chinese food, right? I finished, but I still had rice left over. So, I need to get cling wrap…right? So, I was like, “WHERES THE FUCKING CLING WRAP !?!â€? So I looked. And looked. And looked. And it hit me. “ABOVE THE FRIDGE !â€? Then I was like, “SHIT! I’m too short.â€? So I grabbed a pair of tongs and tried to open the cabinet, but NO! There’s a fucking teapot in the way. “GOD DAMN IT !â€? So I move the fucking teapot, but drop it. Luckily, it bounced off my blubbery foot and didn’t break. So I put it on the counter. “THERE IT IS !â€? I saw it. But NO! I’m still too short. So, I open up the fucking fridge and stand inside. I’m like… freezing cold and I grab the Cling Wrap. I lose my balance. I fall and knock half the shit out of the door. So I spend like fifteen minutes cleaning it up right? So I finally walk over to my bowl of rice. “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !” I open the cling wrap. There’s nothing fucking in there. I was like “GOD DAMN IT !â€?

True story.