When I first started this, I thought it might have been from the mother’s POV . I just sensed some motherly-instinctive going on. But I think I like it better being the father taking revenge. All in all a tense, well-portrayed story. I’m really hating this pastor.

hm…Who’s the villain? I only have to believe that it’s the Pastor, because the father has redeeming qualities. A reason. The challenge states that it must be fully evil. So I’m guessing it’s the pastor.

wow that was very unexpected. I can;t wait to read your sequel.

sequel? :)

Oh, this doesn’t need a sequel. This is powerful enough for one ficlet.

oh my god elsha you have to quit hanging out with me fuct this rocks this is the shot

cause i couldnt say shiaznihg

Incredible. I like that the villain covers up his life of evil with the whole pastor facade. I liked the form of revenge, too. Nicely done.

Incredible. I like your villain’s pastor facade. And the form of revenge; quite fitting. Nicely done.

Very good..
I especially like the father’s name: Caleb—very fitting considering the biblical reference here: i don’t know if that was intentional…

for those unfamiliar with that story, Joshua and Caleb, sons of Moses, were told by God that they would enter the Promise Land because they had “wholeheartedly followed God.” They had full faith and belief in God that He could defeat all of their enemies once they went into the Promised Land to conquer and possess it.

Awesome story!!!

The pastor sounds like a hypocritical sleazebag. Very well written!

Great last sentence!

Makes you think the father’s the villain at first, but it turns out the pastor isn’t at all what he wants you to think…

I gasped at the end of this ficlet. What a bum! The pastor, I mean. This is awesomely written.