Wow. Wow. Wow. This is the fantasy of many women betrayed through infidelity, methinks. Heavy material done very well, with sparse imagery and dynamic pacing. The only thing that throws this off a bit is that it is written in what I like to call a “wall of text.” Try chunking some of the sections into separate paragraphs and I think you’ll find it will help improve the pacing.
Absolutely wonderful. Strong visual, meger description. Captured your reader quite well. Good job. Ana is quite right about creating paragraphs, however sometimes u need every letter.
To Chakatreatmentson: Actually I had never thought of them as being a married pair. It does come off that way, I see now, but strangely that was never in my mind as I wrote it. Which makes her actions all the more extreme.
Punkin
♠Ana Cristina♥
Music-Hearted
chakatreatmentson!(LoA)
Wyatt Aapr
Psylamia of the Skies
Jungle Book
Ezzie