Very sad…but very good descriptions. I especially like the reference to the ego. A lovely piece. : )

A mishmash of descriptions and sentences.
Too much flowery prose.

I really like this piece. You had some great phrases in here: “huddling against my ego”, “my face is a monotone smile”. Nice job!
LoA

i love the lines about the ego and the monotone smile. wonderous descriptions!
actually, this entire piece was filled with good descriptions, fantastic job.
=]

A Beautiful ficlet, littered with a litany of luscious descriptions, I really enjoyed this one.
LoA

I reluctantly have to concur with Wyatt; this ficlet was melodramatic, and includes details that make it a little wordy and it doesn’t add to the story. For example, the mention of the socks isn’t needed.

“heart struggles a beat as it settles back into my chest” try to avoid cliches because as a writer you should be developing your own unique voice.