Comments on 656 Feet Down by Bag of Sand

Wyatt Aapr

I think this story would be stronger is you started with ‘The worst part of life…’ But you have a good tale going.
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:36.
THX 0477

I thought it worked as dropping us in the middle of a conversation already in progress, perhaps not something you would do in a longer piece, but practically required for ficlets, short as they are. Minor point, ‘sleeps’ should have an apostrophe in it.
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Bag of Sand

I had achieved “ficlet nirvana” so I figured the apostrophe would hold.
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Melia

I agree with THX – it really works to start it where you did. And it just has the great feel of a vet who’s perhaps a little haunted by his time in the sub. Loved it. And Yay ficlet nirvana!
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Oy

Were you a war vet?
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Oy

Were you a war vet?
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Oy

Were you a war vet?
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Oy

Were you a war vet?
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Oy

Sorry, my computer glitched
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.
Bag of Sand

No problem.

No I’m not a war vet, but I’ve got some in the family. No Navy men, though.
- Posted 2009-01-12 05:02:37.