Then, Lauren, pinned in the zombie’s affectionate hug, decided to use the only defense she knew. She swiftly kicked the zombie in the balls and it fell to the ground with a thud. So then, the zombie, now unable to have zombie children, and Lauren, now unable to stand up, lie down and die peacefully and filled with lots of Care Bear affection. Their bodies decomposed. Where their bodies once lay, there is now a Lauren and horny-zombie shaped garden.

And then the world blows up.