Oh, Charlie.
Why must you have issues?
And what the crap did you want to ask me on Friday?
What the crap?
WHY ?
I’m going insane!!!!!
Were you going to ask me out?
Or was it just some stupid question about some stupid thing?
Why?
Aren’t you still all hung up on that other girl?
(whoever the crap she is)
I would really like to have some kind of deep conversation with you…
But, really.
What would it amount to?
The same thing that happened with Michael?
UGH .
Michael…
ISSUES !
What’s with all these issues?
Do you have the same kind of issues that Michael has?
Why didn’t you just say something up front?
“Hi, I’m Charlie, and I have issues.â€?
That simple.
That.
Simple.
Your intellect attracts me.
As does your seemingly positive demeanor…
Ha.
Positive.
Except NOT .
Pot-head.
You love being a pot-head.
And you are NOT positive.
You have ISSUES .
Stupid issues.
Why can’t you be happy with your life as it is?
Why does everyone have to have issues?
Everyone except MY BETROTHED .
Ah, Dean.