The crazy thing about this is that I’m not even supposed to be here!

I’m a ‘poor, unfortunate soul’ that has somehow been entangled in this vast mess of broken telephone.

Why me?! I feel like everything in this huge family has to happen to me, and specifically me.

Aunt Cecil was sitting next to me when I broke my ankle. It could have been her – we were only inches apart – but no! The psychotic, drunk biker just had to crash into poor Felicity.

My cousin Amanda was standing beside me when the little girl in front of us in the wedding decided to take a liberty with the candle and singe my precious hair.

Not Amanda’s, which was only a few centimeters away. It had to be mine.

I was sitting next to Mom when an idiot from a concert outside had crashed through our beautiful French doors and catapulted onto me.

He could have shifted a little to the left – of course not! My bad luck is just a magnet for everything dangerous and otherwise dismembering.

And that’s all I have to say about THAT !