I hold myself back as I walk out of the room, apologizing for my outburst, my feelings. You wave your hand to ackowledge my sounds, but you don’t hear my words.

It remains inside me, where it has boiled and burned for 4 years, tucked away in my heart. I know, now more than ever, that I will never tell you.

I pause and turn in the doorway, staring into the back of your head, and I can’t help but murmur, “You just don’t know.”