It was Black Friday. The best shopping day of all time! I spent hours digesting Thanksgiving turkey and circling ads, making a list, and mapping the perfect time-saving route to all destinations!

I was there when that little old lady was trampled by the overweight man trying to grab one last flat screen TV.

I was there when the two women each gabbed one corner of the hula dancing Elmo and pulled relentlessly in a very amusing tug of war until the box ripped.

I was in line determinedly cradling my discount finds and holding my place in line with the grace of a lioness protecting her cubs, when I realized I had to pee.

And although I had planned on getting to Elder-Beerman before the last chenile sweaters are bought for other people, sorry grandma, I had to make an emergency stop. I was running low on energy, needed to relieve myself, and also was very thirsty.

I pulled into Starbucks. As I sat sipping at the steaming cup, I was actually pleased. There was a gift shop in the store!