I never had a chance to tell Debbi I was sorry. 10 months passed by in the blink of an eye, a blurr of activity all leading up to today. She said that she loved me, and that all I would have to do would be to show up on time.

That morning I sat on the edge of my bed, tuxedo looming over me as it hung on the closet door. Was this my life to come? Every action a boolean shift towards the present day? With every choice I had ever made in the past, I felt the stifled air of the present choking me.

I panicked, I realize that now. Still, the freedom I feel now is the fresh air of the future choices ahead of me. It wasn’t fair to run out on my fiancee the day of the wedding. I do not try to absolve myself of the blame for that choice. Nor do I begrudge her anything. She was not to blame, but nor was I. We were young, caught up in the heady joy of love.

When I walked out on my love that day, I made a choice. Right or wrong, it was mine to make. I can only hope that one day, if we meet again, she will forgive me.