There is probably no better touch-point an author could use for a story like this than the book “Go Ask Alice.” It is similar in tone to what you’ve got going on here, 100% completely compelling, and everything that a story like this should aspire to be.
I don’t think you’re quite there with this story yet. Where are the mom’s reactions? She can’t have missed the bloody nose, or the calls from school asking where the daughter was. It screams “plot hole!” at me. I also […continued in next comment]
…I also am wanting to hear what the poor girl is going to DO about it. Keeping a diary is fine, but it’s very passive. She needs to start doing something active about her situation in order to become a protagonist we can root for.
If it were my story, I’d have her plan some sort of amazing revenge against the bastard. I’ll tell you this for free: when I was abused as a kid (age 6) I couldn’t do anything. But ever since, I’ve wished I had bit the damn thing off and run with the bloody end to the cops.
This also occurred to me sometime yesterday, or maybe this morning, but I haven’t had time to come post since then: I also feel a need for more explanation of why she doesn’t just tell her mom, or somebody.
shes kind of afraid too because; a) shes afraid her step father will get mad. and b) she doesnt think her mom (or anyone really) will believe her but i really havent included that part still. stilll thinking on this one.
you should make her say no one time and run with it from there. make him react.have her fight back. and then you could pull it back down to where she surrendurs and make her have this huge internal conflict and stuff. just some ideas…. just write what comes to you i hope you come up with something soon.
this was a good start! i like it… im sorry, i have no ideas at the moment. i hope you come up with something! but, ill write you if i come up with something.
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