Whoa, this is gripping. Keep at it, and you could be the next Caroline B. Cooney! By the way, you should write a sequel to this.

Ahh, I am on edge, waiting for a hopeful sequel. You wrote an excellent hook – I’d love to see more!!

how do you write in italics on ficlets?

woahhh!! this is REALLY good! I seriously think you should sequel!

( to use italics you put an under score _ before and after what you want to make into italics. _ hi _ only with no space between the word and underscore. hi )

Very well written. Could easily be the start of a book. Good job.

great beginning! it is gripping!

This is well written and it took me a bit to really let it sink in cause of the whole creepy factor i dug it