so much of life is changing and right now i’m spinning myself around doing cannonballs and cartwheels, barrel rolls and back flips. i’m going for a change right now but like most every time i suffer from Life’s Block – i don’t know what the hell, or where in hell i’m going with it. i just need it and i need it bad. i’m scared of myself because i am falling again into constants and i need adventure and mystery. i need the single lamplight pouring coned amber haze onto the ground and the man standing underneath it with the fedora, the London Fog, the shadows and the cherried cigarette. i need myself to be him and it scares me.

because as much as i feel like i’m running towards, i’m running away…i’m not falling down, i’m falling up, and my feet and arms are thrashing out underneath me, my mouth is open and bubbles are sinking downwards. except, i haven’t oriented myself. and sometimes, when my eyelids feel like a thousand midnights, i think I just might never will. i just might never will.