The Unknown Doofus

“Listen, I don’t know who you are, but you’d better have a good explanation for pinning me down like this.”

I laughed loudly. “Me? You’re the one that’s climbing, unbidden, over our fences. I think the one that should have an explanation is you!”

“Har, har, little girl – you’ve had your fun, now let me up.”

“As you wish, bastard,” I spat, letting him sit up.

He brushed dirt off of his face, and spat out a stray blade of grass.

I didn’t take time to observe his features, because my ‘protect the animals’ instinct was way too strong to care about what he looked like.

I got swiftly to my feet, and dealt him a firm uppercut to his right cheek.

He was dropped promptly on the ground, sprawled out on his back. “Holy crap, that hurt.”

“I can do much worse things, thief. Yolanda help me, I’ll torture you till you scream for mercy!” I said, my resolve hardly cracking.

This was a simple thief. A doofus.

I had dealt with much more in the past.

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