A Never-Ending Trap

I’m tired.
I can’t go on living like this,
but I’m not ready to give up.
I have yet to achieve what I want,
and I can’t stop until I have.
Its exhausting,
and I just want to let go.
I’ve let it take control of me,
but I just keep denying it;
I’m not sick,
there is nothing wrong with me,
I don’t have it as bad as my other friends that are like me.
I’m obsessed.
I can’t go a minute without thinking of new excuses,
planning the days’ exercise;
I must always be under control.
Everything that I do is mechanical,
that smile before I leave for school,
that laugh with a best friend at a once-funny joke.
But it is no longer.
Things have lost their meaning,
I feel hollow and cold
I remember once telling myself that I would never be like this,
never swallow all those media-fed images,
but now they’ve become my inspiration.
I try and fool myself into thinking that I can stop,
but I know that it isn’t like that;
its a never-ending trap,
and I’m already caught.

View this story's 1 comments.