“I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll sub-contract out to a demolitions expert.”

“Ready when you are, Mr. W.! Is the house clear of people?”

“People? Hrmm, yes, no people inside. Perhaps some livestock have wandered in, but they’re…slated for slaughter anyway, in a manner of speaking.”

“Oh, um, I see…sort of. Shall we proceed then?”

“We shall.”

The pigs squealed. A switch was thrown. Man-made thunder rang out in the quiet dawn. The humble brick edifice lurched and rumbled before collapsing to one side in a heap of red dust. And three swine souls were sent to meet their maker.

“Excellent work, Mr. Jacobs.”

“Oh, thank you kindly. Nothing like a job well done.”

“Quite.”

“Say, Mr. W., before I go, can I ask one thing?”

“Certainly.”

“Anyone ever told you that you are one hairy guy? I mean, like, really hairy.”

“No, not a soul has ever said that to me…and survived.”

“What?”

And the moral of the story is, never go alone to a job you find listed in The Lupine Daily.