Wow this isnt like twilight or anything

Ok, you asked for comments. In your second line you have “We’re were” eliminate the ‘were’. This story could be tightened up quite a bit. Do the readers need to know that it’s tuesday?, if not delete it. What I do is write everything i would like in a story – then trim it down until it fits a ficlet. It’s amazing what you don’t need. Good Luck.

It was actually a story i had already written and copied and pasted it. So that’s why it’s not really in ficlet form.