Mistress Elsha Hawk

I say work on spacing out your paragraphs and dialogue. But great job! there was a lot of action, it was kind of just blown over, it went fast! you could edit it and spread it out, go into more detail, but I like where you’ve gone with this. Great idea! I also like how you kept the golden eyes, and the vanishing trick. :)

• Posted 2009-01-12 05:27:40.