My brain hurts. Its been on over-drive lately thinking. Thinking about how to make “us” work. Thinking about how to fit myself into your schedule. Thinking about all the little things we could do to make it work but how hard we would have to try. Thinking of our parents and what we would need from them, their cooperation. Thinking of all the complications we face. I thought relationships weren’t supposed to get complicated until later on. Not right at the beginning.

I sit here and I think about all the things that are wrong. All the things that stop us from being together and happy. All the obstacles we face. My brain is tired and it hurts but it still has enough left in it to remember.

No matter how exhausted it is, it still finds the strength to make me relive those memories of the few times we were together. Of those few days that we were happy. That no one else mattered and there was nothing to do. Those memories are what keep me going. They are the painkillers for my brain.