Ficlets

Please, I Implore of You, Get Smarter! [Secret Agent Challenge]

She rolled over on to her back, shooting from in between her legs in an amazing display of flexibility.

The bodyguards stood there, shocked to see themselves full of more holes than a box of doughnuts, and fell dead to the ground.

“Et’slay ogay, 301!” she whispered, “Eythay obablypray eardhay usay!”

“Okay 103,” he answered. They jumped off the side of the building, extending their capes to descend safely to the ground 70 floors below.

Unfortunately, 103’s cape had a hole she had forgotten to darn, and she plummeted to her death.

“Itshay!” shouted 103.

Not only had his partner died, but there was a crowd of birdwatchers gathering below trying to guess what sort of avian species he was.

He floated upon the breeze, pondering his soon capture, and thumbed the vanilla gum they had given him as poison.

His last moments were terrible, filled with tears and memories both good and bad.

Meanwhile, the window washers just stared at the crazy, suicidal maniac gum-chewer that had landed in their bucket of water.

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