Mrs Aiden was becoming concerned. She had the delegation from GlobTrak waiting in Mr Johnson’s office, as they were at a very delicate stage of the merger negotiations.

She glanced at the delegation through the full width glass wall that separated her annexe from the boss’s office. They were getting restless.

On the other side of the open plan office, she noticed that the lift was coming up to the top floor. She hoped that this would be Mr Johnson, and not another cubicle slave 10 minutes late for work.

The door pinged open. Out rushed an apparition straight from her most disturbing, if titillating dreams. A naked man streaked out of the lift, shouting at the top of his voice. “HOOTAMAHEETATA JONAH TO THE RESCOOHITAT ”

He was covered from head to foot in green and brown smears, his face was contorted in a truly frightening manner, and he was sporting a huge throbbing erection.

Could it be? Surely not. It was Mr Johnson! As the delegation recognized him with a gasp, she started mentally reviewing her CV.