This is a cute little intro to what seems could be a good series, just a few mistakes here and there. “when Leo came up behind her and embraced her in his arms.” this part sounds weird, it doesn’t really flow, I think it could be too many pronouns. You might want to change it around a bit. “his hot breath getting closer her pulled away.” I think you meant to say she pulled away. “Leo winked at her and walked back to her table.” and shouldn’t this be his table? Besides those couple of things you did good :)
penguincaptain18