Puck Finally Loses It [Fan Fiction Challenge]

Helena: We’ve been wandering around ‘tis forest for HOURS , not-so-dear Puck! Why won’t you reveal Demetrius’ surprise to mine ears?

Puck: [Glares] I’ve forgotten it’s whereabouts.

Helena: Oh gods! Now I shall have to reside here, in this shady glen, far from any receiver of call for help, and, once upon the moon, Demetrius will happen upon my lonely grave!

Puck: Shut thine plump lips for once upon the moon! Me thinks we are almost upon the place where paths shall cross!

[Demetrius enters]

Demetrius: Oh my sweet Helena!

Helena: Oh my wonderful Demetrius! Thine face shines as the sun doth itself, and thee puts the moon to shame and scorn with thine romantic beauty!

Demetrius: Oh my sweet Helena! Thine lips are as plump as a fresh apple, and thine eyes look upon my with sweet graces, and reflect three-fold the love I have for you!

Helena: Oh my Demetrius, thine -

Puck: [Pulling out gun] Enough of this sappy crap! I hate you! I hate this language! I HATE EVERYONE ! MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL , SHAKESPEARE!

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