Isn’t it confusing? Once you’ve been in one unpleasant for so long, you forgot how you got there in the first place? Doesn’t it suck? How you can observe yourself falling down, but you have no power to stop it? All you can do is watch yourself fall, while you scream, cursing God for allowing you to be pulled down.

Don’t you wish… that you could just erase one part of your memory? Then that one painful memory would be gone. No longer would it torment you, and you could live freely just as before.

Well, I’ve been there. I’ve seen others in the midst of it, and know exactly what is happening inside of them. But the worst feeling was when I realized I could not help these people… no amount of kind or comforting words would uplift them for more than just a moment or two.

At night, my nightmares consist of joining those many who fallen numb… Can you tell me? Is it worse to fear it, or to be there?

Don’t you ever wish… that God would just fix everything?