“How did this happen?” asked my mom after she arrived at the hospital and found out that I had minor wounds that only required 10 stitches.
“You would never believe me if I told you,” I said, “but I’ll tell you anyway. I got kicked in the face by a dead cow.”
“And how did a dead cow kick you?”
“It was a cow fresh out of the kill floor at work and had quite a bit of nervous energy, you know, the stuff that makes a chicken run around with its head cut off. Anyway, the cow was swinging back and forth and its leg jerked at just the right time and smacked me. If I hadn’t been wearing a face mask at the time, my nose would have been completely crushed.”
“At least you’re all right.”