He sat on the side of it. Just thinking that it will finally all be over. Three steps and gone. Nobody, really wants to die, they just don’t want to have to understand why, how, or what.

I want to know why he didn’t tell anyone, or how he thought this was the only way. I want to know a lot of things. I want to know why we are here and why we need to have all this pain. I want to know why he was spread across the tracks, like a piece of meat. I want to know why it is that I can’t seem to forgive myself for not knowing, or asking. I want to know why he forgave me in his letter.

Here I am, Levitin, I don’t feel comfortable using that name, but here I am, at your funeral about to say how great you are… I hope you’re listening where ever you are.