I Still Wonder

It’s been over two years. People would have thought I’d be over it by now. I would have thought I’d be over it by now.

It’s so stupid for me not to be.

But we were best friends, were we not? I thought we were. Maybe I was mistaken. But we acted like it. I told you everything. I don’t know if it was the same for you.

And then you stopped, completely. You didn’t act the same. What happened? Why?

I always wondered. Never asked. Probably never will. Because I guess I thought we were more than we actually were.

I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this, but I cried over you. More than once. I would be sitting at my desk doing homework, and just start bawling. I was younger then. I don’t cry about you anymore.

I wrote ficlets about you. Even though by the time I was on ficlets, you were long gone from my life. But I still wondered, so I wrote. Someone thought it was fiction, what I was writing. I didn’t correct them, I like it better that way.

But now, years later, I still wonder. Why?

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