Dear sirs,

On behalf of my client, Curiosity, I have been authorized to make the following statement:

1. That my client, the aforementioned Curiosity, did not kill the aforementioned victim (Cat)

2. That my client, the aforementioned Curiosity, was, in fact, declared not guilty in the landmark case of Curiosity vs. State of Denial, (1999), and that said decision has since held up on appeal.

3. That any further accusations of guilt in the case of the murder of said victim (Cat) is to be considered libel, and will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

As for the true identity of the victim (Cat)’s killer, my client (Curiosity) theorizes that it was the victim (Cat)’s own propensity to sit on windowsills, run around like a bat out of hell at 11am, and chase butterflies that was the probable cause of its death.

I await your apology in the near future, and your public statement absolving my client (Curiosity) of any alleged guilt in this tragic matter.

Sincerely,
I. Bill Lots, esq.