Nice little ficlet, but without a hook.This could have been plucked from the middle of a story, or an end, but not a beginning. (In my opinion)

It is so real. I like it. Nice job. It really gets to the point.

I personally love the first line. Maybe because fate and late rhyme…

Love it. You wrote this very well. Nice job, and welcome back to ficlets!
LoA

I think it’s terrific and you know, it is a ficlet, it doesn’t have to be the beginnning! But as it is, I think it could be a lovely beginning to a story. Maybe you could use some flashbacks if you choose to continue it.

(agrees with raindance)