Selfless or Selfish?

“There isn’t much more time, you need to make a decision.” The nurse said again to me. I sucked in another ragged breath as tears came down my face.

But this is what the doctors said would eventually happen to her, being diagnosed with brain cancer. Now she was in a coma and as some would say, is “running on tubes”. I took a hold of her hand again and stare at her expressionless face again.

I knew what the best decision would be, the least selfish one: to let her go. I knew that the entire time that she kept surviving, she was only doing so for me. She was in such pain almost all the time, but she gritted her teeth for me.

So shouldn’t I repay her by doing this?

But I feel as I couldn’t; I was too selfish. What if she would wake up tomorrow? Then I could see her bright and smiling face again, feel her lips on mine again. Everything would be back to normal again.

But it can’t.

So through my tears I gave a shaky nod and the doctor turned the life support off and I listened as her heart stopped

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